Monthly Archives: April 2014

Last (?) papers on their way to LAN!

So, thanks to some help from a friend and our selves last week we could get both the document of infertility and our updated passport copies stamped by N.P., Swedish Foreign Ministry and the Kenyan Embassy. To do that in one week equals the speed of light in adoption land….(“adoption space” would probably fit the speed of light better…anyhow). Send off to Barnens Vänner who received them yesterday and…

Today we got confirmed they have been sent to Kenya!!

So, we hope, hope, hope that these papers will complete our dossier and LAN can hand it over to NAC soon after they have it. Then we just hope to hear no more news about rejections, but about a positive result from the NAC/LAN meeting where NAC don’t implement any new “rules” for us already in process, which seems quite unfair.

Well, my son is asking about what is happening and when we are leaving (as he is looking forward to studying in the Swedish School this fall) and one of the older daughters is planning for visits during the year and volunteer work. Look forward!  / (posted by Jonas – will soon learn how to post from own account)

Next stop Kenya…

ElephantThe NAC in Kenya has set forth new “rules” / guidelines for processing adoption applications such as ours. Online people are talking about Kenya adoption rejections, a long wait time, and fear that it could be worse. It can be worrisome. So today we spoke with our representative to get some firsthand information regarding US and what is happening now. I can say that I feel better.

I am not a fan of relativity with regards to emotions. I would rather say that I feel confident or good, but for now I feel better. Could be nerves in general here…

Anyhow, for all those other families who are waiting just like us, here’s the scoop!

The new committee is meeting once a month. They are working to catch up and she believes that they are sorting through papers in some sort of chronological order.

There was one family rejected within LAN. They did not receive a reason why. Therefore, LAN is in communication with NAC to receive additional information. To receive a rejection without an explanation is not acceptable. They will try to resolve this asap.

The new guidelines are being implemented. However, this month there will be a meeting with LAN and NAC to discuss when they can implement such changes. The families that submitted their dossiers prior to the new committee were in compliance with the active rules/regulations. Thus, LAN’s goal is that a deadline be determined. It is vital for LAN to be able to maintain professionalism with the families they represent. This will be the objective of their next meeting.

LAN will also emphasize the impact such delays have on the children waiting within the orphanages. Again, the emphasis as always will be the chidren. It is important that decisions and actions be made that focus on the best interests of the children – first and foremost. (When I hear this, I always feel more confident with the organization. Yes, as waiting families we can be frustrated. However, as long as the children are best being served, we can remain a bit frustrated.)

It is not common that the entire NAC committee is replaced. Most times there are board members who remain and assist with the transition. This predicament is new and is a result of the election and new governing power. The theory is to avoid any corrupt members remaining. (I have no knowledge of this being an issue but it could be. Who knows…)

Yes, there is a meeting in Stockholm for the European adoption organizations. There are families who have adopted from Kenya being invited in to share their experience. We were advised that it is not a public gathering for families waiting to adopt.

As for us, they are expecting our papers. They will hold our dossier until the infertility certificate and new passport copies arrive. (We hope to pick up these copies with stamps from Notary Public, Foreign Ministry and Kenyan Embassy stamps on Friday.) They will then collate them and submit in May’s meeting to NAC. They stated that they hope our file will come forward in June or July. I think this sounds WAYYYYYYYYYYY too optimistic but it was good to hear anyhow.

We were told that we can go ahead with our plans to move to Nairobi in August. That LAN will meet us and assist with housing regardless if we have received our papers for an adoption. They will still need to approve our home and such so we will simply go forward as planned.

Lastly, Barnens Vänner have not had any rejections as of yet. (AND let’s hope it stays that way forever!) They feel quite confident that LAN is very good at identifying any concerns with paperwork before submitting it to NAC. So…let’s just hope that stays the same for now and the future.

Overall, there wasn’t a huge change in information. However, it always feels best to get the information as directly as possible. Too much chatter on the forums and groups online creates a lot of worry. (And I am sure that I will still watch for information like a hawk there!) But let’s hope that this whole back-up and delay is temporary. Let’s pray that NAC gets the support, strength and direction needed to resolve the problems so that more children can find a home.

We know how it is to lose a child. I hope that we will be able to help a child who is also overcoming such a loss… Together we will become family!


Out of Control…


What I never would have predicted…

Life, results, achievements…sometimes we simply are not in control. What you get is what you get.

This thought process – this acceptance of only controlling so much in life – it’s a learning process. It’s humbling.

It’s surrender.

I’m trying to accept surrender to the unknown and simply focus more on the now.  Because right now I can choose to be present. To see joy.  And to find happiness in what I have and not necessarily what I want or hope to achieve. And the bonus of focusing on now is that it distracts me from the past. What I didn’t get or what I didn’t achieve. That’s another form of surrender and acceptance. More humble pie.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being pessimistic…or feeling defeated.

I am trying to speak the truth to my heart so it will sink in and feel ok.

And I stand in a different reality right now from many others…but only in the awareness that life simply is whatever it is. My life path has taken some major twists and turns. Some amazing, unbelievable successes in love and business, and now some eye-opening disasters with the death of an infant and then infertility. Things that can crush a soul’s will. I am swaying between these experiences. Life’s wins and losses.

In this unpredictable storm, I can only make daily choices now that I hope will create the outcome I desire in the future. To think that my hard work will necessarily “work out”, “pay off” or “achieve success” would be rather silly after facing death and the truly unpredictable. I have learned that I am not in charge.

So we are hoping to adopt while actively planning to move to Nairobi for the next year. The adoption may happen – or not. We are not in control here. We will do our best. We will try our damnedest. We will rent our house, buy tickets and explore Kenya. That is our plan. It may fluctuate a bit but our adventure awaits.

Perhaps the waiting is the hardest.  But in the meanwhile, I will focus on the now. The present. I will try to fully engage and enjoy what I have. An amazing daughter, a loving husband, a strong community with those I love, and time. I will simply indulge in the time that I have right now.

Life, results, achievements…sometimes we simply are not in control. What you get is what you get. And that’s not all bad if you look around…



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